‘FORGIVENESS liberates the soul…’ – Nelson Mandela.
The preceding quotation is to be found at the conclusion of a Facebook post titled, My encounter with a man who killed my father, written by Candice Mama, in her book Forgiveness Redefined.
On a separate Facebook post describing her meeting with the man who murdered her father, and integrated into a chapter enquiring, Did He Kill Your Father, Mama poured her heart out thus: “I looked in awe as I witnessed myself crying, not because of who I had lost, but because I saw a man who was created by a regime and who took a fall for a government. A man who lost so much more than I would bear, had I been in the same situation”.
Continuing on whilst describing her 2014 tete-a-tete encounter with the notorious apartheid assassin, Eugene de Kock, at Kgosi Mampuru II Prison in Pretoria, Mama recalled: “I left having felt like I had just been lucky enough to meet one of the most brilliant thinkers of my time and someone who was also a victim of a system of indoctrination. I forgave him then.”
A very first time rendezvous between De Kock and the Mama family at the prison facilitated by the National Prosecuting Authority, culminated in a poignant moment where Candice made the following improbable overture to the once-feared former Vlakplaas commander: “Would you mind if I gave you a hug?” – a gesture the bespectacled prisoner reciprocated by folding his arms around her! Prior to that scene, ahead of the two parties face-to-face encounter, the director of the prison had assured the family thus: “Please know that he is but just a man, so do not be afraid.”
Those are some of the moving excerpts contained in the story of a young woman who came to terms with her father’s gruesome murder and ultimately opted to forgive a murderer who took him (Glenack Masilo Mama) away from her when she was just nine months old! Having met De Kock in 2014, in 2015, Candice supported his parole application – with Eugene being released in 2019, after having been sentenced to 212 years in prison under 89 charges!
About the author
Candice Mama started her work in forgiveness, reconciliation and trauma after her story of forgiving her father’s murderer, Eugene de Kock, made international news.
Having been inundated with requests to show people how to forgive, she went on to become an award-winning international speaker.
Accolades:
- In 2017, Candice was presented with the Human Beacon of Dignity Award in New York. The award was presented by Nobel Peace Prize nominee, Evelin Lindner, for her contribution in the field of forgiveness.
- Candice starred in the acclaimed documentary, It’s A Pleasure to Meet You. In it, Mama and Siyah Mgoduka share their experiences with the loss and pain of losing their fathers during apartheid. It explores the themes of forgiveness, letting go and post-apartheid South Africa. The installation has been showcased at the Louis Vuitton Foundation in Paris. (Watch it on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nEyvw18y-l)
- Candice was voted as Vogue Paris’ 1 of 33 most inspiring women in the world alongside, Nicole Kidman, Michelle Obama and Malala.
Image Jacob MAWELA (Candice Mama, author of ‘Forgiveness Redefined’ recorded addressing audience, sharing podium with another award winner, at the Oppressive Pasts & Healing dialogue held at the Nelson Mandela Center of Memory, Houghton).
